Some Times Eye

 

I (eye) can be introverted and extroverted

Compassionate or unfeeling

Influential and yet powerless

Self-centered yet thinking of others more than myself, realizing it’s not about me

 

Crowd

I can be very approachable or very reserved

I can appreciate a crowd, yet cherish being with myself

 

Chameleon

I can be all things to all people (once describe as a chameleon)

Yet I can be happily “just me”

My diversity seems to be my undoing

My inconsistencies seem to work against me rather than for me

It’s difficult to find and maintain meaningful relationships

Sometimes – I (eye) find myself …….

                            ….. HUNGRY….

Thankfully – G.I.M.R.A.

God Is My Refuge…Always

A Few More Days To Go

Hillary Lost?!! 

So, she didn’t win? Fortunately or unfortunately (depending on how you look at it) votes are being recounted.

What I had to do about this election and the chaos that has followed it, was to step back and take ownership of who is actually in control, because somebody greater than I, is. I needed to be calm and realize nothing is going to happen that isn’t supposed to.

And?!!

We are not going to die before it’s our time, and eggs aren’t going to stop being hatched, and the earth will revolve as long as He says so. Since I can’t control the outcome of a lot of things, including people, a deep look into me was necessary. Therefore, I’ve decided to spend the last few days of 2016 seeing how I can look towards a better 2017. More to follow.

OLD WOUNDS: Forgetfulness A Blessing in Disguise

104306429_c175e2c84c_n

Healed Scars of the Past

There are some wounds so deep, if you were to remove the harden scabs they’d begin bleeding so profusely you’d be unable to recover from them again. This is why sometimes atrocities of the past are purposely forgotten and deeply buried. One must seek God’s wisdom and his will before reopening such wounds.

7902059240_a619db46dc_n

Open: Only if Need Be

These heartaches and burdens should only be reopened or explored if truly beneficial, never to satisfy personal or professional curiosity. Even God, once we are forgiven and accept His saving grace, remembers our sin no more. I advocate leaving some wounds closed so that one may be healed. Let the wound be so healed that it does not leave a scar.

4676171310_b985bb98ec_n

Proceed with Caution

However, if wounds of the past remain open and bleeding, and impacting every area of your life today, then by all means begin the opening process, so that going forward you can begin to apply the healing balm of Jesus Christ and be free!

 

Flower-FlickerScott Robinson-FlickerJelle Oostrom-Flicker

 

Black Women: Unmarried, Not By Choice

574993779_7dfd93b2bb_bAs I was sitting in church one Sunday morning, I noticed a compelling observation which prompted me to question, why are so many black mothers single? Why are so many black women single? Unmarried? A few aren’t even knocking on the marriage door, but most are, if he were the right one.

6926086421_3a0ef59e39_nSingle by Choice?

Black women are their own persons; they are independent and self-sufficient; they are strong and can do almost anything a man can. But…black women need and want life partners too. Someone to have quiet conversations with in the middle of the night; someone to mow the lawn; to go down into a dark damp and musty basement or up into a creepy attic. Someone who is not like her, but a part of her all the same.

Yes, sister-girls are nice and a heart-to-heart with God is even better. In church, when the presence of the Holy Ghost comes down, in, and through…ain’t nothing like it! But when she walks through the door of her town home, condo, tri-level mansion, or two bedroom rental she wishes for a moment, a size 12 ½ pair of shoes were walking through the door with her.

The “Single” Status of Black Women

There are real conversations going on about singleness and the unmarried status of too many black women. Seventy percent of black women are not married. Seventy-two percent of black females are single moms. One of the overriding factors contributing to this phenomenon is too many young black males serving time in prison. In Chicago alone, eighty-percent of black males carry the weight of a felony on their record. This is a costly blow, even if one has paid his debt to society, it means finding work and supporting a family is significantly compromised.

Unfortunately, for black women, black men available for marriage have a pool of various ethnicities to choose from. The landscape is very competitive. Smith, a relationship and dating expert list several reasons why black women don’t make it to the wedding chapel.

  • Black male shortage
  • Black women are too angry, abrasive, and brash
  • Some have weighed their options and made conscious decisions to remain single
  • Black men don’t marry the attributes nor images of their mothers in the women they date, whereas other ethnicities do.
  • Women are pursuing careers and waiting until they are too old to seriously pursue a marriage partner.

Why Too Many Black Women are Single

And here is my two cents. Black women are so preoccupied with raising children, helping their mothers and extended family members, working in church, they forget to take care of themselves. They become overweight and stop doing the things necessary to stay at their beautiful best outwardly and inwardly. And let’s face it, appearance is the number one appeal factor for men.

A problem like this has no easy fixes. The reality is that black women have to be open to looking beyond their own race for companionship.

Solutions 

A long-term solution, is black mothers must work harder to raise successful black young men. Teach them not to buy into the propaganda that dark-skinned women can’t be beautiful. Teach them to take pride in their heritage, foster integrity, honesty, and respect for black women, so they will be honored to take her as his wife.

Mothers, teach your daughters to love, love, love who they are and who they will become. If you don’t love yourself, it becomes difficult for others to love and value you. Women are not bitches, teach your daughters to never answer to it.

5481998203_552d241601_bNever give up. If marriage is your heart’s desire, just like anything that you really want, create a plan.  Successful relationships don’t just happen; map out a plan, and set a goal. In the meantime, have fun! Don’t put your life on hold while you are on your journey. Disregard the statistics, it never stopped black people from pursuing and achieving their destiny despite insurmountable odds.

CHANGING BY RENEWING

2902266860_f35d2eec43_b

MENTAL RENEWAL

Renewing the mind is a daily endeavor. The journey to betterment is continual and never stops. If you are still involved in living, and if you’re reading this you are, you must embrace an ever evolving mental renewal.

Never cease learning and exploring to gain more wisdom and grace. To retrieve the mantel of compassion you momentarily threw aside after tasting some of life’s difficult realities, daily renewal is one of the life altering keys.

15581111142_6e69594417_b

HOW SHALL WE RENEW?

Throw aside every weight that slows you down, deters you, or that prevents you from renewing daily. Change something in your life. Try just one thing, and it doesn’t need to be anything major.

14198360532_c8ba1a2069_c

START HERE:

  • Learn something new
  • Listen to others intently
  • Pick up a self-help or self-improvement book in an area you’d like to change or improve on
  • Slow down and make sure you get all the details no matter what environment or situation you are in
  • Eliminate negative preconceived notions
  • Allow goodness and mercy to grow in your heart
  • Forgive and be forgiven

RENEWAL PRAYER:

I speak a life altering renewal in your life that will change negative habits and behaviors. I speak a renewal of self-encouragement, open mindedness, an outpouring of love and compassion given and received. I speak a renewal of joy once again in life’s simple pleasures. I speak the ability to put into perspective the things in this life. I speak encouragement, inspiration, and change. In Jesus name, Amen.